Celebrating the right to wellness for our children
What 25 years as a Child & adolescent psychotherapist has taught me.
Having specialised in the field of adolescent and child mental health for 25 years, I have been witness to more forms and causes of suffering than I care to name. Everything from the impacts of war to being over protected and everything imaginable and unimaginable in between. Yet it never ceases to amaze me how given an environment of love and care and the correct psychological inputs, children, adolescents and even the adult that was scarred as a child can heal. The caveat is it takes time, it does not happen quickly. Trauma happens in the context of relationship and environment; it can only be healed in the same context of relationship that is different from that previously experienced and a calm environment. Therapy provides both within the therapeutic relationship.
I have passionately dedicated my life to supporting the recovery of hundreds of children and adolescents. However, it is worth bearing in mind that we all as adults retain the parts of ourselves as children, particularly, the hurt and wounded parts. We too at times need to heal those parts. Additionally, we must not forget the intergenerational trauma that transfers from each generation to the next. Our children today, live in a world that is fraught with tensions. Pressure from education, social media, climate change, wars, pandemics etc etc. All of that is in addition to the biological pressures of maturation – the process of growing up from childhood, transitioning to adolescence and finding a personalised identity before joining the adult world.
Today, more than ever our young people need support in some cases just to survive, let alone to thrive. Yet where is that help and support, ever increasing government cuts to health services and community projects that support young people are virtually non-existent. Stressors on families are multifaceted, which will impact the development of children, it can not help but do so. This creates pressure of and in itself, the media continually reporting on children’s mental health and the lack of services. That type of information is alarming. It adds to our anxiety and our stress.
Yet, what have I learnt from my 25 years bearing witness to intolerable suffering and deprivations? I have learnt that young people put the AWE in Trauma, their capacity “to be” refuses to die. Yes, that capacity “to be” may get frozen, it might result in acting out, it might show up as anxiety and or depression, eating disorders, self-harm, anything and everything that is in the DSM V or the ICD 10; the psychiatric manuals used for diagnosis. It is my belief that I have formed from all of my experience, and the collective experiences of colleagues worldwide, that the nervous systems reactions are adaptive to environmental and genetic factors. The responses to adversity are embedded in the biological drive for survival. We can honour this natural response to harrowing situations, by creating a somatic release from the body which will message the brain that we are safe now. That releases and realises the potential for optimal development.
Our young people deserve nothing less, I am continually humbled by just how simply AWESOME they are!