What it isn’t.
Being self-aware has in past times being misconstrued as self-indulgence and selfishness. Being very “aware” of oneself was something that people did and often still consider to be a failing, a trite vanity.
The fact that we have moved so far from celebrating ourselves is tragic. You know something, we human beings are rather amazing, we are unique, we are interesting, we have many and varied gifts and skills, we bring colour and light and energy to each other. Our unique strengths, and qualities enhances the lives of those around us.
Where would be without the poets and artists, gardeners and scientists, loving and patient parents and grandparents, the story tellers and accountants? We would be in a bland colourless world full of late tax returns in my case is where!
To be honest in my humble opinion a bit of selfishness goes a long way and indulging in yourself is no sin. After all its you that is living, you that is having the experience you are co-creating with everyone you engage with, and what are we here for if not to live, laugh, love, enjoy and experience the whole spectrum of human emotions and feelings.
What it is this Self Awareness
But being self-aware isn’t about that, it is much more profound than indulging in your favourite pastime, self-awareness is about feeling, feeling and listening, it’s about connecting with and understanding how to live in alignment with our inner wisdom and intuition, being self-aware is the super power that we all possess but sadly all to often is hidden, beneath years and at times generations of smothering, fear and self loathing.
Embracing our ability to be self-awaren offers us the opportunity to live a life on our terms, a life that embraces all of who we are and then if we wish to follow our true path. And celebrate our life in the fullest sense.
When we become self-aware we learn in an experiential way that growth happens, the magic happens when we feel. True change happens in the land of feelings not thinking. Unfortunately our society has for too long celebrated the world of the intellect and dismissed the world of feeling, leading us blind into the world of ego, suffering and pain.
I don’t know how I feel
I hear this a lot, when I ask people how they feel about something, their response is often that they don’t know. They simply don’t spend time being with how they feel, instead the minute there is a feeling that is uncomfortable, that little dig in the ribs from the voice of the intuition often it gets shut down.
Using the usual coping mechanisms that are platinum plated methods of numbing our intuition. Food, drink, sex, shopping, over-working my poison of choice. Nothing like avoidance dressed up as good hard work to silence the voice of the intuition. “I can’t feel right now I am way to busy saving the world!”
The thing is you may well have been taught to shut it down. A feisty, opinionated, powerful person who knows who they are and aren’t prepared to comply and make everyone else comfortable isn’t going to be useful to a society blindly living in the land of thinking and conforming. Christ almighty if you start talking about feeling and saying no and putting boundaries in place there might be a riot! All that feeling is flipping dangerous.
What does it look like to be Self Aware?
People who are self-aware know themselves, they know what is going to be good for them, what is going to make them thrive, feel well, happy, successful, peaceful, they also know what is going to shut them down and make them ill and angry and stressed. And better yet they aren’t afraid to act on this information. They aren’t afraid to say no to working all weekend, hanging out drinking with friends when what their soul is screaming for is a night off, a bowl of pasta and warm blanket. They aren’t afraid to let go of toxic relationships, and they aren’t afraid to live!
Lessons You Learnt in Shutting Up Your intuition
I still remember hearing the phrase when I was growing up, “It isn’t all about you you know, you’re not the most important person in the world.” Was regularly yelled at me by a over stretched mother. A mother who herself was shut down, because the reality of being aware and feeling was so terrifying to her she locked down her intuition her immense powerful wisdom and intuition, and turned up instead as the Martyr. She didn’t do it because she is a bad person, she did it and does it because she is in pain. A lot of pain, and that pain seems too big, too vast to handle, much much safer to shut down, don’t look, don’t feel, don’t push yourself forward. Much safer to be quiet, submissive, and hand over responsibility for your life to a religion, politics, a husband or wife, your kids!
It is always useful to think, how am I not showing up for myself? Who or what has my power?
For an individual who has given away their power, following their heart, well that will lead to trouble. So they don’t, it’s not safe to feel, because if you feel you are going to have to do something with that information, and change man alive change is an uncomfortable place for those who have shut down their super power, their intuition, their feelings quiet as a mouse sitting deep within will make it mighty uncomfortable for you if you find yourself opening up and listening, goodness they may even suggest you do something radical like follow your dreams, let go of an abusive relationship, take your health seriously, sort out your finances. And lets be honest that stuff, that real stuff that stuff which gives us security and stability can be tough going to master.
Many of us have been raised by people who through no fault of their own have shut down their inner wisdom, they live in the world of “Out there”, the world that society has built up around us, mortgages, debt, jobs, image, Instagram, holidays, 2.4 kids, two cars, push push, buy buy, have have and whatever you do, don’t you dare stop and consider if this, this life, this experience is where you want to be. Just look forwards, push through and keep going. Keep consuming, keep being part of the dream world that intuition and self-awareness denies. Because let’s be frank the minute you are aware you are awake. And if you are awake you can see the whole mess that society has created around them, a consumer led society doomed to believing and existing in the land of “It is never enough.”
Find Your Way Back to You
Ok so I hear you, maybe I don’t always fully show up for myself, maybe sometimes I shut down the inner voice and sit back and bask in my comfort zone. Or as I prefer to call it, coma land.
So what do I do? How do I start to make my way back to self-awareness?
Stop for a moment and feel. Yes feel, not think. How do you feel? Happy, peaceful, excited, sad, anxious, stressed, over-stretched, bored? What? How do you feel?
Of course, you will have thoughts about how you feel, but before you get to those, just feel, and be aware. What is that like for you, to feel, to just stop and be and feel?
Don’t judge that, just be aware of the feelings arising within you.
This awareness gives us a huge amount of information. You may want to run a mile from it. Because let’s be honest you may not like the information that is coming out of those feelings. About your life, your coping mechanisms, your behaviour, your work life balance, all of it. Your intuition may be downloading a few home truths. And ego sitting happily on its throne wont be too happy about that.
Super Power Self Awareness
But here is the thing, feeling is powerful, its overwhelming at times, especially if you have sat on your inner voice for a long time, maybe even decades, maybe for generations your familial line have traits of hiding, shying away from their truth, maybe for generations your family has ignored the inner voice and lived quiet happily or not, in the land of out there, the land of ego and fear. So to sit and be with all that feeling, good jolly you have a lot of energy sitting back there. Stored up and passed down generation on generation.
What are you going to do with that power? Use it to shut your down? Or unleash it?
There is a payoff to feeling, there is a healing, a truth, an intelligence that cannot be bought or given and it unleashes a life that is beyond your imagining because the power of your feelings your inner wisdom propels you forward into the life that you are meant to have. It might be a bit of bumpy ride, it may be tiring and emotional and you may actually be uncomfortable as you adjust to this new paradigm, but that’s ok, it isn’t going to kill you. The axis of the world remains the same you however, you will become aligned, with your true destiny, you will align yourself with your highest potential and greatest gifts. What a gift, and its yours, you own it, you have it, you inhabit it, all you got to do is this.
Pause, feel, listen, breathe, move in alignment with your highest good.
What does Self Awareness Look Like
It looks like self-respect, it looks real, it has colour, tears, smiles, joy, it looks like every spectrum of the emotional rainbow. It looks like boundaries, it sounds like, “no thankyou” and “hell yeah”. It feels like waking up from a slumber into a world of colour and love and joy, and it gives you the knowledge and wisdom to know where you end and the ideals of another begin.
How do I become Self Aware
Actually, this bit isn’t so hard. Because the voice of your intuition can’t disappear, it is always present, speaking to you in many ways.
The whisper on the wind telling you this really isn’t the best choice you have ever made. The scream in your heart when you are disrespected or dismissed telling you to wake up and see just how incredible you are. The pain in your back when you are overburdened and need to just stop and take stock and know you are enough without all the baggage you are carrying around. The persistent cough and cold you ignore and work through that really is saying, “Hey wait a minute your low, you need to refuel your energy. Stop for a bit, look after yourself.”
What does it take for you to listen, a whisper or a sledgehammer?
Self-Awareness is your inherent gift, it is yours to embrace and create a relationship with. It isn’t going anywhere, 18 or 80 that intuitive energy is a force of nature waiting to be explored, waiting to be unleased, waiting to be listened to.
Your intuition your inner sat nav is your greatest gift. So quiet the noise, listen, breath, listen some more, open up to how it feels, and know that however you feel you don’t have to run away from it all you have to do is follow the nudge back to your true self.